Flawed Beauty

I remember this one time I went to this mother-daughter makeover thing with my mom. They taught up how to use makeup and what shades were the right ones to use for us and whatnot. I was the youngest person there. It must have been spring of 2001 or fall of 2000. I still see some of the older girls at school so they must have been about 15-16-ish. I remember going to the bathroom when she put the concealer on my face. When I came back, I refused to use it because I didn't want to admit I had flaws. I didn't want to admit that my face had mistakes. Like the bags that are under my eyes. Or the pimples I now get. Or the fact that my nose is always pink. I couldn't admit this when I was 10 or 11. I couldn't admit it. And so I didn't use concealer. I still don't use concealer but for different reasons. I don't use it now because it doesn't look natural because I don't know how to do it. Because I didn't try to do it then. I am NOT perfect. I have dark-circles under my eyes. They are there. They are not possible to ignore. They are the result of heredity, sleep deprivation, and dehydration. My nose is red. Especially when I get cold. My face is PALE. I NEVER have a tan. Even in the summer. I can't run a mile in less than 11 minutes let alone in under 9. I am not perfect. I have flaws. And I will always have them. Those circles under my eyes? They're permanent. I can't even HIDE them most of the time. It is five years later and I know that it's okay to be "flawed". It's okay to ADMIT you have flaws and mistakes and imperfections. Because beauty is not in symetry. It is not in looking perfect. It is in the imperfections, the "mistakes". Cindy Crawford's mole? Some view it as a deformity. It made her famous. Guess what? I have a mole EXACTLY like that only on the left side of my face. I've gotten comments on my "imperfection". Positive comments. I have big brown eyes. That I love. Maybe I'm not a size zero, blue-eyed, big boobed, tiny waisted blonde. But I am a size 5, brown-eyed, small chested brunette with a J.Lo butt and the hips to go with it. And would I change places with a blue-eyed, size zero, blonde if I could? Sometimes. But I LOVE my eyes. I LOVE the gorgeous colors in my hair. I wouldn't have big boobs even if I could. And that J.Lo butt and hips sure do get noticed on the dance floor for all the right reasons. Some consider brown hair or a small chest flaws. Some think being a size five with hips is horrific. I don't see it that way. I have "flaws". I have "imperfections". But I say, God made me the way I am for a reason. And I intend to use it to my advantage. The guy for me will love my brown hair and my small chest rather than lusting after a busty blonde. I am not what the media would see as perfect. I am not what some see as beautiful. By their standards, I am imperfect. I am flawed. And I am ugly. But by admitting my "flaws" and owning up to them, I accept them and I embrace them. And I become beautiful in my confidence.