Old enough, young enough

How weird is this? It's probably 90-something out and extremely humid. I'm freezing. When I got my laundry out of the dryer, I wrapped myself in a hot towel. Now I'm sitting here with a hot cup of vienesse chocolate cafe or something. (Whatever it is, it's good. Want some?) I can't wait to have hot tacos tonight and I can't wait to feel that fire. To see the flames licking the wood black. To smell the kindling burning. I can't wait to taste the delicious s'mores and the hot dogs we're going to roast. I can't wait to feel the hard earth under my back tonight. I can't wait to laugh the night away with Sayiiiiid. I long for the structure of school but I love the carefreeness of summer. It's a Monday night and I'm going to sleep in my backyard. (The closest thing to real camping I'll get this year.) I'm a girl of many contridictions. One of which being that I'm not exactly a girl but not exactly a woman. I'm in between. Old enough to not join in the childish antics of my cousins but young enough so that when I do I'm not chastened with peals of "You're too old for that" but rather "You should know better". I'm old enough to appreciate the sounds of jazz and classical music at times but young enough to crave Top 40 to dance my butt off at others. I'm old enough to long for romance and young enough to not need it. I'm old enough to explore my interests seriously and young enough that if I change my mind, it's thrown off as a childish phase and nothing more serious. I'm old enough to understand certain jokes but young enough that I still giggle and blush at the thought of kissing someone. I'm old enough for sundresses and make-up but young enough for overalls and flip-flops. I'm probably too old for pigtails but I'm young enough that I wear them anyhow. I appreciate Starbucks and coffee but, I'd rather have McDonald's most of the time. I'm young enough to be rebellious and old enough to realize that sometimes no just means "I love you too much to let you risk that" but still young enough to fight back rashly and just want my way. I'm old enough to plan trips around the country or to Europe and young enough to think it's all going to happen while I'm still young. I'm old enough to know better but, I'm still too young to care, as the old saying goes. I'm old enough to plan but young enough to not have to fork over the money for my plans. I'm old enough to think about driving but young enough that I can't get my permit yet. I am so many things. I could go on forever but, right now, I've got a PODA (parade of daily appointments) that's calling my name. I've got posters to hang, legs to shave, summer assignments to do, and laundry to put away. I'm a busy busy child.