Catchin' y'all up

6/15
Bryan just asked me out. I said yes. Now I think I regret it. I feel like it's going to mean a redefinition of who I am. I've just gone through a phase of serious depression in which I lost my faith (toward the end) and my definition of who I am for the most part. I need to figure out who I am before I date someone. I need to figure this out soon and fix it before it's too late.
I loved flirting with him and yesterday, I was thrilled at the prospect. Now, I'm not. Now, I just need to feel free. I feel as though saying yes bound me to something that I don't want. I feel sick. What do I do? I need to explain this to him but, how do I?
All of a sudden, I don't know anything. I'm so completely akward around guys. I'm more likely to flirt and feel completely comfortable than to seriously persue someone. Question: How will I ever get married if I never have a boyfriend? Perhaps I'm meant to just live in my novels and not date.
I really need to reconnect with my faith. I haven't had the desiere to do anything God-related in a while but now I do. It's Wednesday! Ooo! I'll see if Lindz wants to go to youth group. I really need to go. Since the Day of Silence, I have not gone. I need to hear one of Dillon's lectures tonight.

So for now, I'm still dating Bryan. More in a bit.

Trying to hide this from everyone. Sitting at Linear Park off to the side. My back hurts and this rock/seat is hard. How did my last day of classes go? I nearly cried in voice. Everyone sang Alma del Core and Out Here On My Own together. *tears* Before German, Bryan asked me out. Not sure how I feel about the fact that I said yes. Math was next. More nearly tears. Science. Bomb threat. (Must stop for now. Serious risk of being read.)