English focused free write

I was writing in English class for an essay. We had to do three five-minute focused free writes to get started. The topics were your most prized possessions, something you identify with, and words to live by. You then choose one and worked on it. I wound up using words to live by (the main quote I used was by our very own Bernadette). When I was writing about something I identify with, I meant to write about music and how dynamic it can be. That's not what came out. Instead, this is what I wrote...

We all identify with something. That's what humans do. There's a reason or a purpose to it. Sometimes its for a moment and sometimes its for a lifetime. Sometimes you're the only one who gets the connection and sometimes it's obvious. A cutter connects to her blade. She recognizes it and relates to the pain it brings. The pain is welcome, sometimes needed. It mirrors the pain she feels inside. The joys and the sorrows, the stress and the relief. For that is what it is. Her blade is her stress, yet her relief. Her joy and yet, her sorrow. She wonders why she cannot stop, why it is so hard but yet, she wouldn't stop if she could. She is connected to that blade by a sense of helplessness. Without it, she feels helpless, like one lost and lonely soul with no outlet and no control. With it, she is secure and powerful. If someone hurts her, it's less important since she's hurting herself worse. She con vent her frustrations, her anger, her sorrow for all the world to see or maybe just for her on the blank canvas that is her skin.

I don't know why that came out but it didn't. Don't worry, I haven't, aren't, and won't cut myself. I'm not in that place anymore.