A buncha

From Ash Wednesday

I’m back at school today. Lucky me. Felt like crap when I got up. But now, I’m better. Still hoarse, still coughing. Getting lots of “Hey, [insert nickname]! You’re back! Yay!” which makes me feel special. I missed Mardi Gras to hack up a lung (lol) but it’s the first day of Lent and I’m giving up swearing. I’ve already kinda sworn a couple times but I’m working on it. Baby steps. Must copy a bunch of science notes. Yay for me. Oh, and lucky Lindsay gets to cut my bangs tonight.

2/17/05 <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

I feel like no one understands me or the fact that I can’t live with my father and remain sane. I need to get away. I don’t feel like if I got along with him that I’d be disloyal to my mom. I cannot get along with him. I cannot remain sane. I need to get someone other than Mom and Lindsay to understand me. My father is making me an appointment with a shrink so I can find out if I’m bipolar. Either Iker or O’Leary-Sergeant, my choice. I think I just need to see them. I can tell a lot about a person from their face. But I’m leaving strongly towards Iker. At first the Sergeant part turned me off that doctor. Then the O’Leary drew me in. Now I’m liking Iker. But I’ve gotta met ‘em.

2/21/05 <o:p></o:p>

I?m sitting here in the lock-in at 6 something in the morning. My head hurts, I?m tired, and I?ve never felt better. We?re playing Catchphrase. I love this game. With 20 sleep-deprived teens and a few equally sleep-deprived chaperones playing, we come up with some interesting clues and answers. I keep taking my retainer out because it hurts my head.

 

2/24/05<o:p></o:p>

 

Today is Thursday, the twenty-fourth of February and it?s twenty past two. I haven?t written anything in days and I don?t feel like doing so now. But I know I have to. I have to write about the lock-in, about my birthday, my weekend at Mom?s. I have to record it all but I don?t want to. I used to want to record everything so much so that I was missing out on life to blog it at times. Now, I don?t know. I?m just so messed up, so confused. I feel so? different. Different from my old self, different from my peers, just different.

 

 

That's it for now. Two or three looooooong entries coming soon. Much love!

Love always,
Vickey