November 17, 2004- Feeling: small
I need that freaking counelor. Fought with my dad again. When I got into the shower before bed, I took every razor & blade (& my red marker) into the back of the cabinet beneath the sink. Smart move, huh? I figure if I can't get to it easily, can't see it, I won't, right? Well, I was regulating the water temperature and a comment I had made to Lindz popped in my mind (God, I hope she's not reading this). Ever since I was little, I sould scratch my legs (lightly) with my nails. Not to hurt, just because I was bored and I had nails. Well, last night, I scrapped my nails into my leg. It was red for at least 30 minutes. Just now, walking down the hall, I scratched my wrist. I really need to learn (excuse me, relearn) to deal with life better. Any suggestions?
On another note, Lindz dealt drugs. Her meds (she has ADHD). She sold them for money. My drug policy has always been if you're on 'em, get off or get out of my life. Now I need to add if you're dealing them, quit iti or get out of my life. My goodness. Not even 15 and dealing (prescription) drugs. *breathes deeply as she counts to ten* Uniformitarianism time... *rolls eyes*
Love always,
Vickey
2 comments:
I've heard a lot about dealing prescriptions in high school recently...it's very very scary. It seems people think there's some kind of safety in a prescription, there isn't. Prescriptions (especially when used wrong) cause a lot of internal damage that you can't see until it's progressed. I'm glad you have such a good (and beautiful) head on your shoulders.
Stay Strong, keep being you
xoxo~B
Aint life a gas!? Imagine if your were like happy as a clam (how the hell do we know clams are happy anyhow.. like they have a freakin happy clam meter or something?) all the time? Be kinda nutty hu? So when you feel these not so happy thoughts bouncing round ya, first off accept they is part of who you are. Then you have keep working on making a conscious choice NOT to get pissed at dad. Let it roll. You have other strategies … pray, eat chocolate, journal, get to that councilor, move… exercise … walk briskly, dance … movement actually releases chemicals in the brain that can help fight & relieve stress and bring on more balanced & happier thoughts.
Lindz my dear, cut that sh** out! Grrrr. Them ADHD meds is nasty enough for those they is prescribed for never mind giving to others. Come on woman you got a better head on than that! I know it seemed like a good idea at the time, but re-eval that choice and see it for what it is, W R O N G. Lindz aint bad, she’s a good person, but made a bad choice. Happens to us all. But it’s gotta stop. End of rant. Toodles.
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