Sorry for flooding you inbox today/tomorrow. Everything I've written since Wednesday night is in these entries.
To start with, my talk with dad. I didn't tell him. He doesn't know yet. He know something's wrong but not what. I said certain choice words to him. He said I could say whatever I want in whatever words I want without consquences. So I said f***, a**, b****, and h*ll. Prolly sh** too. He said whatever words I want. {sassily} Multiple times I said, "Okay, that's it. End of discussion." and ran out of the room. "Talked" for an hour an da half. Talked about the divorce, Angel, Lisa, and a few other things. I'm not talking to Mrs. Lynch because she can (and has to) tell Dad this. I'll talk to Mr. Whats-his-face. He can't tell Dad. I still don't know if I'll say anything to other people (whose head was on my lap as I wrote this). I'll debate that at a time when I don't have to worry about who will walk in.
Secondly, I haven't been tempted since Sunday, I think. [At the time that I wrote this, that was true.] Thirdly, I am infatuated with Law & Order: SVU. If you've never seen it, it's the story of raped or sexually mistreated victims. If the crime is sexually based, they deal with it. I don't know why I like it but Dad won't let me watch it.
My parents are at odds with one another. They battle using previleges that I am or am not allowed. Drinking coffee , watching certain shows & movies, dating, bedtimes, getting a car, people I talk to. Dad won't let me drink until the morning of my first date (aka my 16th birthday). Mom lets me now. SVU & some R-rated movies are allowed by Mom. No SVU & almost no R rated movies at Dad's. Not allowed to be alone w/a guy until I'm 16 from either parent *cough* New Year's Eve with Jon *cough*. But Mom lets me have a boyfriend. I stay up later at Mom's. I'm getting a car for my Sweet Sixteen from Mom & Ray. Dad wants me to buy my own. Most guys and Lindz (if Dad knew everything) are/would be off limits with Dad but Mom's more easygoing. They don't always realize the war they're fighting. Time to hit the hay. More tomorrow (Thanksgiving Day!). Promise. Well, my tomorrow is not necessarily yours.
Love always,
Vickey
1 comment:
I remember friends going through this when I was young and have talked to several of my children's friends who have experienced similar things. Amazing how some things just don't change. It's awful to be caught in the crossfire of this war. Perhaps it is some of these differences in parenting and philosophies (when you can drink, being with boys, and TV viewing) that were some of the symptoms of the breakup between your parents. Most of the kids I talk too feel both manipulated by the battling parents and find themselves becoming manipulative (which they don't necessarily enjoy) to play one parent against the other. Keep venting and trying to communicate with both parents.
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