Life is weird, isn't it? I get to experience that weirdness by myself for most of the day. Yea, I have school and people in it but I feel alone for some reason. I want to feel connected, to be goofing off with my friends at Starbucks or wherever. Actually, not Starbucks. Cool Beans is better. Mom's is even betterer. Anyhow, afterschool, I'm going to the library until 5 then home and dinner. Eventually, Dad's leaving to go out with Gail and I"m staying home alone. :D I don't want to deal with Dad.
Sunday. I'm worried about Sundays. Sunday to me is now synonomous with the urge to cut and fighting with Dad. No longer is it worshipping God and going to church. It has nothing to do with spirituality anymore. I think I'll spend every Sunday locked in my room reading my Bible and writing. Or in Dad's room watching tv and doing homework. :[ Ignoring Dad and thus not fighting with him should fix the problem. Not the problem but the symptom. I still need a counselor, symptom or no. The fact is I've felt like cutting myself. Not healthy. Need to solve the whole problem, not the symptom.
Anybody care to learn about the minerals of NY for me? Yup, it's time for class. Arrivederci.
2 comments:
A counselor might be a good idea.
Maybe your Dad could sit in on one of the sessions, he might be able to understand you a little better that way, hopefully not as many arguments.
Worth a thought, but obviously you'd have to feel comfortable with that.
Sara x
I can relate to that feeling of aloneness. Sometimes walking around a campus overflowing with people laughing, talking to loved ones (my assumption) on cell phones, and visiting with buds I can feel so isolated. Especially when I’m barricaded in my office grading or researching. I think there is a strong tendency of the neural net for social contacts. But then I make myself find someone to talk with, even if it’s a stranger, and I feel connected.
So it’s Sunday today, how are ya? Isolating yourself to keep outta trouble is a short term solution but must make you feel a bit like a stranger in your own home? Maybe that’s why my son especially used to spend sooooo soooo much time in his room when he lived here… hmmm you have given me some invaluable insight Vickey. Just one more reason why I so enjoy your journal. Tanks muchly.
You please take care, talk to someone, keep ona writin, know that folks out here in cyber space wish you well, care about cha, and think about you even when the comments aren’t flowing in. Toodles
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