November 16, 2004- Feeling: So freaking stressed out
Stress. Too much work. Too little time. Toomuch procrastination. Too little silence to think. Roar! A few weeks ago, I used my studyhalls. I could concentrate despite the noise. Now, I can't write a blog entry because of the noise. I don't use my studyhall or do my homework. I think I have some anxiety disorder or something. I was reading Bodies Under Siege last night. Made me hyperventilate and nearly cry. I couldn't breathe, felt suffocated. Not a fun way to end my day. That whole "crowded when alone" poem rings tru more and more. To stop giving you the impression that I'm so freakin' depressed.....
Mixin' it up was so freaking (BTW: that's my new favorite word) fun. I sat with Suzanne, Mel, Maria, and some others. Vreni, Liz, and Catilin joined us and Conor was there for a brief minute. It was hilarious to hear everyone's conversation and reactions. It was absolutely great. You kind of had to be there but I had an amazing lunch period. Even got to eat without being uncomfortable. *gasp*
Wow. Even talking about having fun made me feel better. Less stressed, less suffocated. Amazing (as my body heats up again. What the hell is up with my body?! It hates me. It has a mind of its own. "She's got a mind of her own, she don't care what they say." hehe ^_^) Class dismissed in 5...4...3...2...1... *brrng*
Love always,
Vickey
2 comments:
I'm glad you did the mix-up lunch, it sounds like it was a good time ;) Anxiety can be pretty common, it also comes along with some other disorders...it'd be a good idea to talk to a counselor or psychiatrist as soon as you can. Trust me, the longer you wait...the harder it is to seek help and work with the problem.
Best Wishes doll!
xoxo~Bernadette
So if this Mixing-It-Up thing was so freaking (can use that word too!) fun why not do it more often? I mean like don’t wear it out but how about once a month at least! I wish someone had done that for me when I was in school. Don’t get too freaked by your body it’s going through all kinds of wild and wacky changes with hormones happening and also your brain is experiencing another growth in neural development. So drink plenty of H2O, get good nutrition, and keep on feeding on positive thoughts. Toodles.
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