Earlier, my dad was online. He imed me. Here's the conversation that occurred.
Dad[1:40 PM]: hi pumpkin
Me[1:40 PM]: hi
Dad [1:40 PM]: watch you doing ?
Me [1:40 PM]: nice english. blogging
Dad [1:41 PM]: what is nice engish
Me [1:41 PM]: your english. sarcasm
Dad [1:41 PM]: one of my favorite ways to make a piont
Dad[1:42 PM]: excited about christmas ?
Me [1:42 PM]: ish
Dad [1:42 PM]: what ish
Me [1:42 PM]: excited-ish
Dad [1:43 PM]: meaning what
Dad [1:43 PM]: be honest
Me [1:43 PM]: meaning kinda
I went away at this point to calm myself down and not snap anymore than I already had. His response made that little away worthless.
Dad [1:44 PM]: that was rude
Me[1:44 PM]: how do you figure?
Dad[1:44 PM]: it's like walking away in the middle of a conversation
Me [1:44 PM]: it's called going away
Dad [1:45 PM]: for 1 minute
Me [1:45 PM]: so?
Dad [1:45 PM]: honey ..... can i tell you something
Me [1:45 PM]: what?
Dad[1:45 PM]: promise you'll listen with your heart
Me [1:45 PM]: what do you want?
Dad [1:46 PM]: I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!!!
Me [1:46 PM]: good for you
Dad[1:46 PM]: is grandma around
Me [1:46 PM]: downstairs
Dad [1:46 PM]: k-
Dad[1:46 PM]: have fun blogging
Me [1:46 PM]: i intend on it
Dad [1:47 PM]: see you tomorrow
Me [1:47 PM]: cya
Dad[1:47 PM]: love ya
Dad signed off at 1:47 PM
In retrospect, I shouldn't have been such a brat. I shouldn't have copped an attitude. That conversation lasted seven minutes but it got me so aggrivated. So you see, when we fight, it's not always him. I can be a "rhymes with rich" as well. I just thought that you should know me, not how I see me but how I actually am, even at my worst. If I trust you enough to write about wanting to cut myself, I can write about my behavior towards my dad.
Always,
Vickey
2 comments:
Awww hon, as a parent I'm resisting the urge to tell you to go hug your Dad!!
I know though, it's not always that simple.
(((((hugs))))) to you sweetie, you're not a 'rhymes with rich' at all!
Sara x
Oh doll! All of us females have our moments of, uh...itchiness. You're not a spoiled brat, you're a normal teenage girl...and like we all have been -you're prone to a little unexcused 'venting' now and again. The part that tells me that you aren't a spoiled brat is that even though you were upset/irritated you realized what you did in retrospect. Hindsight is always 20/20 doll, no matter how inconvenient that might be ;)
I'm sure it's scary sometimes for your dad. Chris has no idea how to raise a woman....it scares him to think that he might make a mistake that will affect her for the rest of her life, especially in her relationships with men. I can't imagine how he'll deal with her as a teenager.
Here's a tip for you that I've learned over the years in dealing with men. For the most part you HAVE to tell them what you want from them, or what you need. If you wait for them to just get it, you'll wait forever and they'll wonder why you're not talking to them ;) Sounds to me like you need dad to understand that you're growing up and need the leash loosened a little. Regardless of what you're needing from dad...he obviously realizes you need something, he just can't figure out what or how to give it to you. He's reaching out and trying to let you know that he's there.
Trust me, as a parent-- the good times, the hugs and the I love you's FAR outweigh the upsets, arguments or the I hate you's.
Hang in there doll!
xoxo~B
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