So I had time...

Merry Christmas! So, it's Christmas Eve again and the holiday traditions (mostly) have stood strong. We went to my aunt Donna's house this year. I did my solo (for those who listened around six EST, sorry but you were a bit late. It wound up being more like 3:30 ish.) for my Poppy. He didn't understand it! It was in Italian and he speaks it but he didn't know what I was saying! But, I know my diction and enunciation were pretty good so it musta been either my pronunciation or his ears. He's 86, after all. Everyone that heard (which, I was kinda nervous so I forgot to get everyone together. It was Aunt Donna, Uncle Pat, Aunt Doreen, Peggy, and Poppy that heard.) was amazed. I can't take the credit. It was a perfect fit for the song and my voice teacher is great. She taught me well.

We opened gifts as well. I got a few cool things (like 1/2 a dozen throw pillows). But, Gramma got me a CD that I got back in February for my birthday and Aunt Donna got me one that Grandma Birch got me (I picked out) a few weeks ago. So that was awkward (however you spell it). I told Nikki all about Circle C and now she wants to go "ride horses and swim". We left around 6.

Gail came over when we got home around 7. (We took the very long way home.) She gave us a gift. I got a scarf, poncho, and gloves. Very cool. Joey got a game for his GameBoy. He likes it. Then Dad gave her a gift. It was a gorgeous necklace from Zale's. With gold and diamonds. Gail gave Dad a laundry basket with socks and a shirt or two. I was incredibly sugar high and without sugar! Oh, Joey & I got our traditional Christmas Eve gift. We always get one from our parents (now from Dad) on Christmas Eve and we're not supposed to know what it is. It's always PJs. This year, Gail picked out mine. I love them! Last year's I hated. Awful, uncomfortable pants (that I still wear when I'm being stupid) and a T-shirt that I lost. This year, TINKERBELL! Blue tank top & blue Tinkerbell pants! Amazing! Love 'em. Joey got pants that say "Bonehead" and "Numbskull" but I thought it said "boner". :-[

I grabbed my late great-grandpa's Bible to read Luke but it was King James Version so I went to get my NIV. I read through Luke 1 and half of Luke 2 (up to where Jesus is in the temple at the age of twelve). Gail left and now Joey & Dad are watching "Rocky and Bullwinkle". *rolls eyes* I'm wearing my Christmas PJs and the scarf I got from Gail. I love 'em!!!!!!!!!! So bedtime soon. My tree still doesn't work. Oh, I never typed that entry up. My Christmas tree lights don't work because they're missing a bulb and the bulb I put in doesn't work. :'( Okay, well, time to.... Oh!

Last year at this time, I was so not in the Christmas spirit. My parent's had been seperated for two Christmases already (that was the third) and it was the second they were divorced for. It really got to me last year. You know the song "Where are you Christmas?" It has a lyric that says, "My world is changing/I'm rearranging/Does that mean Christmas changes too?" Last year, that fit me so perfectly. I felt like I was changing and that Christmas was as well. Did NOT like that at all. I've got the spirit this year. So, this year, "My world has change/I've rearranged/That means Christmas changes too" but I'm OKAY with it!

Last year, I said good-bye to Gumpy. I gave up that hurt and that pain and resentment and sorrow. I'd felt it for six years, every Christmas. I'm over it. I still have the ornament he gave me on my tree, with his signature on the bottom. But it doesn't hurt to see it. I look at it and remember crying myself to sleep, saying good-bye. I remember his scratchy beard against my cheek. But I don't remember much more than that. It was just the idea of him. The whole fact that for 7 years of my life, I had a grandpa. I had a Gumpy. But now I don't and more importantly, I'm okay with it. I looked at the ornament my parent's got for their first ornament together. I stole it this year because my dad wouldn't let me put it up. I looked at it and thought "I wish I could say good-bye to that this year." But I don't think I'm ready to yet. It's too soon. Too hard. I read a quote the other day in Reader's Digest. It said, "Memory is often less about truth than about what we want it to be" -David Halberstam in the New York Times. Tell me, how perfectly does that fit me?

Well, I've been on way longer than I intended. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

Love always,
Vickey