Firstly, in regards to Sara's last comment, I am, as I type, trying to open the chocolate milk so I can get a nice big glass of chocolate milk to follow my nachos (with cheese, aka dairy, aka calcium). Okay, it's open. Time to make the milk...
Yummy. Chocolate milk. Do you all remember my friend Ali? She came to youth group last night. She's great. She's such a better person that she thinks she is. Now, I don't want to out her but I trust you all. None of you know her personally (except Lindz and I don't think she reads this anymore) so you obviously won't talk to her about it. Ali cuts herself. I saw her arm last night. Lindz was counting the cuts. 23 was the last number I heard. I saw it only for a millisecond but the image is stuck in my head. I was sitting in global today when I realized what that means. I realized that it means that she's done that to herself. She's cut herself more than 23 times. And this wasn't just a surface cut. This was deep. This was either an attempt to die or an attempt to release a lot of pain. And I mean a lot. This was worse than I've ever seen anyone's arms. I saw a friend's cuts but they were not as deep, not as red, not as traumatizing for me. I saw another friends scars but they were old and just a pink line. Still traumatizing (as I'd not seen scars before) but not as much as this. Words aren't enough to articulate this.
I swore I wasn't going to talk about this in here. I swore I wasn't gonna think about it until first period tomorrow. But she IMed me and now I can't help it. This is so not what I started this entry to write about. I'm going to do something mindless. Like copy entries. Yay....
Love always,
Vickey
2 comments:
Chocolate milk, Good girl ;o)
Sara x
Mmmm, chocolate milk :)
It's always hard to see it. I had a friend that cut herself deep, with butcher knives. The scars on her arm looked like she'd been mauled by a bear. Sometimes just being there for someone if they need it is more help than they ever thought anyone would give. From what I've seen and learned I think that the bigger and more obvious the cuts, the more they wanted to be noticed by someone. I mean, you can hide so much...think about it. You noticed those scars, I wonder if her parents pay close enough attention to notice. I bet it hurts a lot if they don't.
You're a good soul doll ;)
xoxo~B
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