Ut-oh!

So my next choir concert is in March for senior citizens. So far we've got three we're working on, No Greater Gift composed by Ruth Elaine Schram, The Music of the Night from Anderew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera arranged by Ed Lojeski, and Come to Me, O My Love by Allan Robert Petker. All gorgeous songs. The last is about love (obviously). I was singing it today in choir and ya know what I was thinking about? Tom. Ut-oh! This is more serious than I thought. Here are the lyrics for the alto part, the part I sing.

Listen, my love, to the song in my heart, it is calling and calling in beautiful song.
Gently, so gently, it beckons you near me and circles around you and carries you home.
Hear, my love, the song I sing, it calls to you in lovely song.
Gently now it beckons you and circles you and carries you home.
(piano interlude) Part that we didn't sing (piano interlude)
Listen, my love, to the song I sing, calling to you in a beautiful song.
Gently, so gently, it beckons you, circles around you and carries you home.
Hear, my love, the song I sing, it calls to you in lovely song.
Gently now it beckons you and circles you and carries you home.
Listen, my love, to the song in my heart, it is calling and calling in beautiful song.
Gently, so gently, it beckons you near me and circles around you and carries you home.
(piano interlude) End that we haven't gotten to yet

It's really pretty and those lyrics can't really portray it accurately. There are four parts (SATB) and all sing different lyrics in different rhythms at different times. It's so pretty. If you ever get a chance to hear it preformed, go! I mean, we're amatuers. We're a high school choir. We've only sung this a few times and already it's so gorgeous! Imagine professionals having practiced for months. That would be amazing.

So I'm kinda freaking out that all I could do during singing that song was picture Tom's face and make plans to sing it. I was planning to just casually sing it as I was in youth group while Tom was around and see if he asks about what I was singing. If so, I'd sing it louder so he could hear it and I'd look straight in his eyes as I sang. But that's just another of my plans. I constantly make plans and then don't do them. Last time I made and followed through with a plan like this, I was embarassed for weeks. I sent a note to my (now ex-) crush that told him that I liked him. He told me that he didn't like me and I said okay. He still thinks I like him. I find him disgusting. He's a vile, racist idiot. He told a joke one day that I found detestable. "What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven." How awful is that!? So I'm never certain as to whether or not to go through with my plans. At the beginning of the year, I liked Peter. Now I find him annoying as h***. Feelings can be fickle so I'm never really sure what to do about what. But typically when my feelings are this strong, they don't disappear quickly. With Jon, even after he asked Lindz to pleasure him, the feelings didn't disappear. They were there for a while. As strong as ever. Then they slowly disappeared. And now, to know that they're gone, I've got to see him again. I've got to make sure. But I think, I'm nearly 100% sure that they're gone. Thank goodness. But, I'm not getting into Jon tonight. Nor am I really getting into Tom tonight. Well not anymore than I already have tonight.

Anyhow, it's nearly seven & I've been on since 2:30. Way too much time. So after this song (I Hope You Dance by LeeAnn Womack in Angel's journal), I'm getting off and going to go work on resolutions (such as calcium & working out) and painting my nails. Oh, and I have to call Tom. I'm going to church Sunday morning and I don't know what time it is. (Church starts at 10:30 and Sunday school starts at 9am.) I'm *so* evil. hehe ^_^ Buh-bye!

Love always,
Vickey