So assuming that I am bipolar, I've been "normal" for about 2-3 months and am now in a "depressive" state. Hurrah! ::sarcasm:: Much as I love my church and my God and my friends, I want it to be Saturday. I want Saturday to last for a very long time. But I may not be able to get to my church on Sunday. I get to spend the weekend at my grandmothers. Yay. I've only been like this for about twelve hours and already I feel like I've always been this way. There is no reason for it. I could smile and try to convince people (and myself) that I'm happy but I'm not and I don't believe in changing my emotions. Last time that I was in a "manic" state (irritable and "itchy"), I decided that my motto would be "Smile. Even if it kills you." I hate that motto. If I'm pissed, I'm pissed and it's gonna show.
It's now lunchtime and I feel better. Much better. Kim and I played Pringle Hockey. She had mini can of Pringles for lunch and we battled it back and forth by swatting it with our hands. It fell on the floor quite often. It was great fun.
Love always,
Vickey
5 comments:
Hey! Sometimes I joke with my friends...that I am bipolar. We have all come to agree that we are bipolar to a certain extent. Between college...work...boyfriend and family drama...its easy to con conclude I'm bipolar. I don't think you are bipolar...its just emotions. Totally normal!
Elisa
Have you been diagnosed with bipolar, or depression?
Am glad you felt better later :o)
Sara x
You know I'm bi-polar. It does feel like you've always felt that way, I never thought of it like that...it's like an impending doom that you've always known. I hit my depression state earlier this week, wednesday was the day that I just stared...when I get depressed I feel empty. I can't change my facial expression no matter how badly I want to look 'happy' sometimes. I just can't fake it. If you don't like my mood, wait 5 minutes ;)
Riddle me this doll, do guys still play that paper-football game?
Glad you're feeling better...sometimes it just takes something snapping you out of it :)
xoxo~B
I'm bipolar. Sometimes I pray for mania because the depression can take me under so hard. However, the mania isn't a pretty picture.. at least at times I don't realize what I'm doing lol (I laugh because I can) But it's a constant rollercoaster for me... I wrote a poem about being bipolar, someone once said it described it wonderfully,I'll look for it and post it on my journal. Hang in there.
luv,
Promise
"~*hey vickey....i love your journal....it's kind of amazing how you retain your sanity. actually, i admire you for it. you're a really cool person...you never really freak out about anything you just kind of go along with it and write it all down. then there's me...i freak out about practically everything. guys, school, track. everything. plus i love how you stand up for what you believe in. that's amazing. i guess it's like we all believe in something (there's me, who just recently dreamed of taking a road trip to toronto and protest this stupid pointless war that we're in. then there's abortion, which i highly detest and oppose, and then the death penalty, which i also despise. but i'm not doing anything to help any of these causes and it kills me.)but it's what you do to help your cause that matters. my dream in life is to make a difference and it's hard...points for being sane and standing up for what you believe in, vickey! yay! what makes you think you have to keep smiling? you don't, not really. in fact, you shouldn't. you should see me whenever i'm pissed off....oh it's great. i'm hugely immature, quite loud, and i'll show the world that i'm mad. :) i do like the rest of that sentence though...if i'm pissed off it does show. it's so true. vickey you're an amazing person and i'm just really lucky i got to know you. i can't really relate that much to your life because i guess my life is so much better than many people's, but i hope it gets better. in fact, i know it will. because "you have two lives. there's the one that you learn with and the one you live with." ~iris lemon. :) haha! yeah.... you're just in the life that you learn with now. and since this life has been so bad for you so far, that just means that you're life that you live with will be that much better. :) plus you're right. you've got friends and God. :) ~rachel ps. i dance horribly too. power to the people who can't dance!
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