moving and chances

When it comes to moving (since that decision is still up in the air), I'm still torn. I've got my list of pros and cons but I can't decide. My "mega pros" for staying are Lindz, music/school systems, family, friends, youth group/church, german, Mrs. Lynch, and Tom. Yes, he ranks on that list. More on that in a minute though. But my "mega cons" are fighting, control, ultimatiums, not always accepted, and temptation may return. Mega Pros for moving include Mom, Ray, Sami, accepting environment, trust, the fact that I've never been tempted there, balance not dictatorship, and female influence. Mega Cons are starting over, few friends, unfamiliar, and the urge may return in times of change. I'm thinking of staying. Because of my friends, my youth group, and the possibility of what may be with Tom. Because if Tom is my next northern star, how can I leave and be haunted by what might have been? How can I deal with those ghosts? Yea, it might not happen or work out if I stay but it has a chance, a hope. How do I leave that glimmer of light, of chance, behind? The possibility is keeping me here. If we go for it and it doesn't work out and my heart does get broken, I'll stay out of youth group for a few weeks. Then, I'll go back and see if I can spend an hour so close, yet so far from him. I'm not going there just for him. That's important for you to know. I'm not. Just as you must know that Marley was dead to begin with, you must know that I don't go just because of Tom.

Love always,
Vickey